Another early start and a two day outing south towards the Mekong Delta was our plan on Wednesday 29th August. Two days exploring the river system down in the south of the country, was something I approached with a very open mind as I didn't know what to expect.
We got on the bus at about 8:15am, and a crowded bus it was too. I first noticed an Aussie called Paul, whom I spoke to briefly the day prior at the Cu Chi Tunnels. He broke the ice at the tunnels by pointing at my tattoo and said "is that Korean?". I said yes and he confirmed it said 'oh noo' which is Korean for 'Today'. This was good as I received confirmation that what I placed on my forearm for the rest of my life said what I intended it to, and not 'foreign devil' or 'dirty paedo'. So I greeted him on the bus with "hello again". He said Hi and then followed up instantly with "show them your tattoo". I was showing it to the Koreans and I was instantly dismayed when they burst out laughing. I asked them what it said and they confirmed 'today' and apparently their laughing was just surprise or nervousness or being silly college kids. I am convinced it says 'Today' but if it doesn't I need a lawyer to help me take arms against Google Translate. Anyone?
The journey was a cramped few hours until we reached the first stop of Unicorn Island, and our first Mekong Boat trip. Once there we were offered some honey tea, some banana wine and lastly some dried banana and ginger chips. In order, I would rate all three as mediocre, and not a huge new flavour or cultural experience. The place was also a bee farm. Sarah was swatting them away constantly, and a bit nervous. I just kind of took refuge in numbers and saw no one was getting stung, so why should they single me out, its not as if bees are monkeys.
We were sat at a table with Paul and a new friend for the journey, a Chinese girl who wouldn't stop talking, who was lovely. Faye was her name, and she had this innocence and huge self belief in all she said, which was cute (in a funny way) as hell. Also at our table were a couple from England. All we had in common is they came from Kent I lived in Kent for a year of my life. Apart from that they were as boring as solitary isolation in prison. That horrible Kentish drawl, without the geezer-ness of Essex or the sprightly optimistic tone of London. I was so glad they were on a one day trip.
Next a row boat trip through some mango groves. My first embarrasing part was to admit (as asked to for safety reasons) that I was over 70kg. Oh for goodness sake, the guide was over 154 pounds, so I'm not sure why he was laughing when I told him I was 85kg (that was a write down in the truth). He asked loudly for two lighter ones to join this fat bastard and his American wife in the canoe. Two of them did come forward, a couple of middle aged Australian ladies. The embarrasment didn't last as the boat was paddled with no small effort by a couple of small elderly Vietnamese ladies. They handed me an oar and asked if I could row as well, although I'm sure they wanted me to feel involved than actually needing me.
We were offloaded at a small jetty with little idea where to go next, but after a local pointing we followed an obvious path which led to a bunch of tables, with free fruit to try. I instantly fell in love with dragon fruit, especially the red type. This is readily available in Asda, so I should be more adventurous at home. Another fruit which looked like a small pear was instantly spat out. It tasted like a cross between a rotten apple and a raw potato. Lychees were there also, but I have no time for these fiddly things which look like a shiny testicle encased in jelly. Some girls came round to sing some songs. Some were Vietnamese songs and 'If you're happy and you know it'. They felt as awkward as we did, but left a basket to leave a tip. Sarah left a battered dollar, she's learning about this tipping business.
While I'm here, you may have noticed I'm ambiguous about tipping. Let me spell it out where I stand; my tip is my gift. If asked to, or peer pressured into, I will do it grudgingly and as small as I can get away with. This applies to American waiting staff, who expect my gift to compensate for the American taxation and minimum wage system pushing them over a work top and shagging them dry. When service is great and I feel I have not been leaned on, I will tip generously. I will also tip generously if I'm on a date with an American in New York and I'm not ready for her to know this side of me until she is trapped in marriage.
After that, and another chance to part us from the Dong which grows on tourist trees, we were boated off to the mekong to try some coconut candy, and watch it being made. This was no more interesting than the school trip to Looe, to see Looe Rock being made. There was obviously some invitation to buy, but to be fair it wasn't at all intense. Sarah sampled some coconut wine and some snake wine. I tried only the coconut wine, Sarah tried both and liked it. When I use the word wine in the Vietnamese sense, it is in no way similar to crisp chardonay. Indeed it is more similar in taste to the fluids your mum kept beneath the sink with a child proof top.
Next lunch, and we could go anywhere we wanted as this guide had no interest in commission. Just kidding! We were taken to a very interesting island as it happened. Lunch was free as long as we chose Rice, greens and pork. The menu offered more interesting items. Snake, Turtle, Crocodile and Ostrich. The good thing about this island is there were some activities. Cycliing or a hammock, we chose the hammock. This was after a chance to look at the crocodiles, and big buggers they were too. A member of staff dangled a piece of meat no bigger than a very small steak on a fishing rod while the crocs just left their gobs open. Obviously the aim was for the the crocs to snap in a violent way at this morsil of meat, and leave the crowds gasping at the power of these beasts, and wonder the outcome had this been a human limb. The problem is the crocs are the product of millions of years evolution, culminating into an advanced predator and killing machine. They were not about to be patrionised with a meat cube on a piece of string. For the most part they just lied there and wouldn't give the baying crowd the time of day. There obvious mantra for us would be, "if you want entertainment jump over the fence and have a little dance with us, lets see how that works out for you".
We said goodbye to the one-dayers and then onto the city of Can Tho in the south, where we would spend the night. It was during this time that my tooth-ache (I'm not sure I've mentioned it) became intense. I managed to source some Ibuprofen and this got me through lunch and asleep that night. The city of Can Tho was interesting for a quick walk that evening as it was not touristy at all, at least that was the initial look. Obviously many stay here as the Mekong Tour is popular. This however didn't translate into rows of cafes selling burgers and tiger beer, and shops with commie t-shirts.
The morning of the 30th August and day 149 we were off to the floating market. Now twice we've meant to taken the Thai one outside Bangkok, but never got round to it. Just as well, as the Vietnamese floating market was much more authentic. This was selling mostly wholesale vegetables and fruit. Vendors would take a boat down from wherever the produce grew, and live on the boat until the stock was gone. Big boats were wholesale, and smaller ones would sell on again. A few boats came up to us to sell fruit or drinks. They would pull up beside and hook their boats to ours and push for a sale. But it wasn't intense at all. The only thing I was tempted by was a boat with a huge three-way pot for Pho soup. A handful of soft noodles, a handful of bean sprouts, a handful of herbs and a ladle of beef soup over it. It smelt and looked amazing. The captain of the boat ate a bowl while steering with his feet. Priceless!
Next a quick stop to show us how rice noodles are made. This was a good stop and there was no pressure to buy at all (by now you are gathering I don't like hard sell). It was interesting as noodles have formed such a large part of my diet for the last 3.5 months, and I thought they all just came from the noodle fairy. They mix rice husk with tapioca to a thick gloop. They spread it on a hot flat disk similar to how crepes are made in Paris (and Camden). They are moved to dry in the sun on bamboo trays. Once dried you then have a large 17" disk of semi-transparent hardened jelly.This is then fed through an industrial contraption, very similar to a pasta maker. A single disk makes possible two or three servings of noodles. How busy those people must be to keep up with the insatiable demand for pho.
We made our way back to HCMC after a stop at a fruit farm. We wandered the gardens growing everything from papaya to cacao beans. There was a beautiful cat-fish pond made out of a crater left by a US B52 bomber during the conflict. Something so charming formed on the back of such ugly aggression. This almost sums up Indochina for me. Before leaving for the 4 hour journey back, we ate some fruit. We shared some more dragon fruit and mango. Sarah's bias was the mango and me the dragon fruit.
Once back in HCMC I had to take care of my tooth. The ibuprofen was of limited use, and it seemed I was waiting for four hours to pass before popping another 600mg tablet. Sarah went to a dentist on Bui Vien for a cleaning and had a good experience, so I of course headed there also. They agreed to check me out right away, so it started well. Although I must ask why there weren't that busy. He looked at my tooth or what's left of it, but couldn't tell me as his English was limited. The problem with my tooth is this; I had a filling and root canal work done in 1998. The filling came out and I wasn't quick enough to do anything about it and the rest of the tooth broke away. However, with no nerve behind it, there was never any pain. The pain is now coming from the gum. It has obviously become infected. There is a shell of a tooth there, but it is mostly a cavity. Anyway this dentist of 12 years old found where the pain came from and jabbed at it a few hundred times more to be sure. Then I was ushered into a side room for an x-ray. My head wasn't positioned just correctly, so they kindly banged it hard back against the hard concrete wall. I was asked to hold a piece of plastic in my mouth with my finger. They cleared the room, without handing me glasses for protection from the radiation blast coming my way. The result is my finger now glows in the dark and my urine has melted the latrine.
Back in the dentist chair junior took another look, jabbed at my painful gum a few more times. Returning with the x-ray pictures he scratched his head, mumbled to himself, then got up and made a telephone call. Returning it became evident that he had spoken to his boss, and said the remainder of the tooth needs to be pulled. Genius! How much for this? U$D800! Fuck off! I explained I'm a British citizen who has the option of returning to the UK and getting this done for almost free. Please just give me anti-biotics and pain killers to see me over 40 days and thanks for your time. He didn't understand bless him, so the receptionist came in and translated for me. In all that time I was not given a diagnosis of the problem. I would sooner let a chimp on cocaine dig around my teeth than that juvenile. The good part, the cost for the visit was zero, or at least no request for payment was made. A presciption was made out for four types of medication, and as at going to press now, the pain has subsided.
I never liked dentists, but I miss my dentist near Mossley so much at the moment. A friendly muslim girl with an Oldham accent who lets me know in simple detail every step that is the be taken with one of the most sensitve parts of the human body. Ensuring I'm aware of whats happening at any one time, so I know when to flinch and when to relax. I miss the manor house dentist, and cosy waiting room. Then sitting in a comfy chair and looking at your x-rays through a big monitor above your head. And this is on the NHS. I need to really trust a dentist, as they scare the shit out of me. So my friendly muslim girl wearing the hijab, I want to hug you (but your husband may kill us both out of honour) for making me comfy at dentists. The juvenile on Bui Vien can go to hell for almost undoing all my northern dentists good work.
It's easy to sum up days 150 and 151.... naff all! We are sitting out Vietnams Independence Day to travel on Monday 3rd September. Celebrating Vietnams Independence from France in 1945, not Independence from Agent Orange, B52s and Corruption. We are off to Dalat in the Highlands. Our plan is pretty much northwards. From Dalat to Hoi An and Hue in the middle of Nam. Then a train journey to Hanoi. Our deadline is to reach Hanoi by 17th September, and obviously Halong Bay. From then back down to Hue to cross to Laos. From Vientiane in Laos we will head to Chiang Mai no earlier than 1st October. From Chiang Mai, to Bangkok for two days before returning home. The journey's end is in sight.
I'm viewing our Asian stretch from Singapore on the 8th of August to the end as an overland epic, with comparisons to our 5 weeks in Europe. Even though travelling is easy logistically in Asia, I still think this journey will be an achievement, especially in distance. It will certainly be a comparison in emotion when we arrive in Bangkok for the last time, as to when we arrived in Istanbul on the 4th May. It will also be sad as this may be the last time we do anything like this again in our lives. I've decided this blog will finish with our travels, which officially finish when Sarah returns to America on the 17th October. Therefore, a summary post here is premature. I considered a blog detailing the process of American immigration, but I think the publicising of my life, no matter how small the audience, has run it's course. I read this in a magazine once "its not enough to get through life, no matter how hard, nowadays we have to let everyone know we have". However, the emotional last post in over a month away.
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