Day 57 - Koh Phi Phi Leh

I'm sure many have been to Thailand and know this obvious fact but I'll go ahead anyway. Koh Phi Phi is two Phi Phis. KPP Don is the island everyone stays on that is plopping up a new bungalow everytime you blink and KKP Leh is a protected national park, and most well known for the set of The Beach starring Leonardo Di-Cap. The film is terrible and you wonder where the point of Alex Garlands novel wandered off to as hollywood tried to turn the American character into a hero for the film.

The boat left at 2pm towards the KPP-Leh but had one stop on KPP-Don and that was monkey beach. Now the evening before I was emailing work colleagues who asked if I'd been attacked by animals yet, I said no. Anyway arriving on the beach with many about 3 other boats of 8 or 9 tourists we jumped onto the island. This monkeys are not tame to state the obvious. A young one passed in front of me and I had the urge to stroke it, only to have an enraged mother monkey come to me and scratch my arm. A very small scratch but the attack was scary. Added to that what may have been the dad or overprotective uncle, came hurtling towards me and frankly chased me back into the sea. In the safety of the sea I wondered what the monkey village would make of what they thought was cross-species kiddy-fiddling. As the boat pulled away, I could swear I saw monkeys trying to swim.

We then crossed a very choppy sea the KPP-Leh and the first stop on the island was a lagoon where we jumped off and had a swim surrounded by those well postcarded cliffs of the Andaman Coast, then followed by some snorkelling surrounded by hordes of yellow and black fishys. I enjoy snorkelling a fair bit, but I admittedly struggle when water enters the mask or down the tube. I've had a wealth of advice on what to do here, but my habits are hard to break and never compliment snorkelling. Thats said when it flows well and you are floating with your head down, and occassionally take a bit of a dive the undersea world is enchanting and then I get the whole scuba thing, although I will never do it.

Next stop was Maya Bay, or better known as The Beach. However it wasn't to be as easy as just pulling up. For some reason I think they restricted boats coming into Maya Bay. Anyway the boat parked in Peleh Bay where we had to swim to a rope and to a ladder then walk 3 minutes to The Beach. The sea was very scary and we didn't have to put much effort into swimming as the waves were pulling us in. It was getting near the cliffs and the ladder out that things became nerve wracking. I grabbed onto the rope when I could only for a wave to crash me in and bash my foot against an underwater rock. With 4 other boats of similar tourists the scramble to get a rope and climb out was frantic and reminiscent of a boating accident. As I grabbed the slippery wooden ladder I hugged it for my life I promised myself I would not slip. I took my time to see where Sarah was, and thankfully she was very close behind. Once on the island the short walk to The Beach was good. We passed tents as they allow very limited camping on the island. Then as the film you walk this path of soft sand and come out on Maya Bay. I was told that The Beach was superimposed for the film, but I couldn't immediately see where, as it looked every bit as stunning as the scene when Leo DiCap sees it for the first time. Being a natural harbour and the water being choppy the waves were large so gentle swimming wasn't an option here. Still the water was blue and so refreshing. I would say The Beach is not overhyped and maybe the best beach I've visited in my life. Also maybe there is a restriction on boats allowed to arrive at once, as there is with camping, so the crowds on The Beach were very comfortable.

After our alloted hour we had to get back and there was disagreement amongst the group as to whether the boat would come round to the bay to collect us or we had to return the same hazardous way we arrived by Peleh Bay. While Sunil from Bangalore seemed to think the boat was definitely coming round, the majority of the group agreed he was talking out his arse and decided to walk back to Peleh Bay. The masses were unfortunately correct. For some reason the approach to go down the same ladder we arrived an hour ago filled me with the worse fear I'd felt in a long time, not since a skydive 8 years ago in New Zealand. Your fear is somewhat abated by seeing all the others manage it. So myself, closely followed by Sarah then the rest of the group carefully watched every step down the ladder as we approached the waves crashing the shore. Grabbing hold of a rope which took as towards the boat the task was easier than it looked. The swim back took much more effort than the swim in as you were now against the waves. But we all made it, we returned to the boat with fresh pineapple waiting for us.

journey back gave Sarah and I both sea sickness. Another opportunity to snorkel was offered which only half the group did. My sickness looked like it would produce vomit, so I moved to the boat where I could evacuate said vomit into the sea and more importantly not on top of those of the group who were snorkelling. It didnt happen but the 30 minute ride back wasn't pleasant. It was on the journey back that I was looking out to sea and seeing waves the size of sand dunes toss the boat back and forth that I was reminded how insignificant the ocean makes us feel. Earth is a watery planet, and land is more or less the exception, yet its the ocean that is so alien to most our lives. Also it makes us insignificant in time. The Earth is really a frozen icey planet, which occassionally has warm periods, and the era of humanity and life as we know it, is just a brief warm period which we will soon (in Earth terms) revert to ice. That mass ocean which tossed us around like a rag doll is a melted ice age. This thought isn't belittling, but makes us realise how small we all are in time and space. Thats my deep thought, and that was largely our day.

Day 56 - Koh Phi Phi

Well we've been for about 24 hours on our second and last Thai island. The island of Koh Phi Phi Don on the Andaman coast of Thailand. After 10 days of lounging around with only the ocean for company, its all a bit different.

The alarm went off yesterday at about 5:30am as we had to wait for the bus to take us to the pier in Koh Samui. We were out on our porch at 6:10am with bags waiting but some goodbyes were in order. Firstly to Mama, our host at Shady Resort. The loveliest woman imaginable with the cutest laugh. Also a stickler for business, never letting us go too far from payment. Like a mama she'd make me feel a little guilty for ordering another beer. The food was amazing there for the price, even if are time there we pretty much tried all on the menu that looked appealing. Sarah will probably rave about the coconut shakes and I about the Penang Curry. Anyway saw mama and asked for a couple of waters. She said we could have them for free which was nice. Then I volunteered to tell anyone about Shady Resort, and I will do. I've already told a colleague back home who asked about it. So Shady Resort, Mae Nam Beach, Koh Samui. You can pay about an extra £3 a night and get AC if you arent like us trying to get the money to stretch longer than a few weeks.
Someone else needed a goodbye and that was my Shindig dog, and to a lesser extent his mate Fighter. Shindig is actually a girl. I sort of knew this from the pink collar, if she hadn't rolled over. Anyway I came to the restaurant to say goodbye and they seemed ok with this, but dogs don't understand. Or do they? I returned to the porch to wait for the van and they both came and said goodbye properly. Sarah said they were looking for food, but she's a liar, they were wanting to say goodbye to me properly. Shindig was a mess emotionally.

The boat ride back from Koh Samui to Surat Thani was a fast boat but it seemed longer. The waves were high and going out on deck seemed a risky operation but I did it. Already on the boat were the Koh Pha Ngan lot, the party island. They obviously boarded an hour or so earlier and were crashed out everywhere. At Surat we didnt have to wait long for the coach, and when it arrived it wasn't bad at all. Old but comfy with reclining seats and good AC. I whacked on a few tunes and felt myself drifting asleep to wake seeing a sign 'Krabi 32km'. The coach kicked us all out in what looked like a driveway to someones house. It turned out to be the waiting point for those who had onward buses to Krabi pier for Koh Phi Phi as we did or buses to Railay beach in Krabi. Incidentally the day was miserable in weather. Weary backpackers got off the bus as ordered and were captive audiences in a small shed which would sell you accommodation and snacks. I see no reason why the bus couldnt have taken us to the pier, bar this chance to sell us food and other touristy stuff. Still the wealth of tourist opportunities is what makes Thailand so travel friendly. You do not have to book a thing. The trade off is the constant sell, and the trade off is fair in my opinion.

The boat to Koh Phi Phi left at the expected time of 1:30pm and the journey was very choppy. No one was allowed outside even in the covered bit. A gentleman in front looked very ill from sea sickness and was lovingly attended to by his wife / girlfriend. Arriving at KPP our first welcome was a loudspeaker saying "fee for clean up KPP; B 20 per person" so not a few steps off the boat B 40 gone. This I would later think is a rip off. During a walk today, there is garbage and shit everywhere so where is this money being spent. Public bins also seem few and far between meaning you have to carry an apple core for a km or two. They should come clean and call it a tourist tax as that is all it is.

Waiting for us on the shore are hundreds of pushers for accommodation. The ones I wanted in Samui. One sold us a place near the beach for B500. The place unfortunately is bad smelling and the view out the window shows another place where the 'clean up' fee hasn't reached. When I say bad smelling, I mean its negative aroma therapy in that I woke up with a blinding headache, and considered checking for a murdered corpse. The man said that if we don't like it, he will give our money back, sure he frickin will. The good news is we searched for a place today, with time on our hands and away from the hard sell and free from backpacks on our back hurrying our decisions, we found a good place for the last three nights. Airy, clean and B100 less than this shit hole.

Also today we got tickets back to Bangkok for Friday £12 each for 2 hour boat trip and a 1278 km coach trip is VFM. This will get us in on Sunday 3rd June and Monday morning straight to the Chinese Embassy to pick up tourist visas. Mine about $50 and Sarahs $150. If America hadn't spouted off about commies so much it would have been cheaper.

Tonight we are off the the Reggae Bar, and as you'd expect from a Reggae Bar, we are watching a Thai Boxing match. Actually that isn't what expect from a Reggae Bar. You'd expect pictures of Marley smoking happy stuff, 'Stir it up' on repeat and Jerk Chicken just like moma use to make on the menu. So looking forward to the violence.

I visited KPP 10 years ago and the thing that has jumped out at me is it has changed a lot, compared to Khao San and Samui which seems identical. However, this seems largely due to the Tsunami. What was called the Tourist Village with smelly fish stands is now called Tsunami Village with nice restaurants. Also noticeable are signs marking Tsunami Evacution route. I remember hearing about the tsunami hitting KPP, 2.5 years after I visited and remembered where I stayed and how completely helpless I would have been had it struck while I was there. I think the clearly marked routes possibly show the panic and turmoil when an island of tourists and locals were all heading for the one few high grounds. Very sobering.

Anyway in other news;  I have become a fully fledge Thai traveller as I am now the proud owner of a Singha Wife Beater vest. I took off my shirt on the walk today and my bare chest offended Sarah, and possibly many others, so a vest is a good compromise.

I think the night was a mini date night as that what we feel we should do even though spending time together isn't an issue. Still we started on the beach and found some bean-bags to sit down and drink while the sea sent gentle waves in. This was good for a while until the heavens opened again and we retired to the sheltered bit of the bar, which was also playing cheesy pop. We are of that age where comfort and conversation take priority over banging choons, but the rain kept us put. Anyway there was a point to tonight, we were off the see the Thai Boxing match at Reggae Bar, scheduled for 9:30pm.

Firstly it was free to get in which was pretty good, but we knew the costs would come somewhere. Our obligatory drinks cost B300 for the first round of two. Then spying the menu we noticed that for B100 you can get yourself a bucket of whiskey and coke, which is what we did and what we didn't end up finishing. The actual Thai Boxers were thin on the ground and the filler was a sign and patrons urging (mostly girls) to get the gear on and into the gym for a quick bout. This proved to be hilarious. Young 20somethings half-way through a bucket of booze were not about to take it seriously. Added to that the cheesy choons of Lady Gaga and a dance version of Adeles 'someone like you' it seems that the girls were more preoccupied with their co-ordinated dancing than fighting eachother. Their reward was another bucket of whiskey, priceless entertainment. The actual fighters came on later and neither possessed a miligram of fat on them. The grace and power behind it made Sarah and I debate whether it was choreographed or not. However, every now and then a huge smack in the face with an elbow or knee kept that theory in doubt. In any case an amazing  night and while I was bit tipsy, I had no hangover. This is just as well as tomorrow was the boat trip day.

Day 52 - Koh Samui still

We've been here on the island of Koh Samui for 7 days now, and also in the same place, Shady Resort on Mae Nam beach. This has been the most relaxing part of the journey so far. Our days are spent waking up, reading or an early morning jump into the sea, followed by a cheap breakfast to more reading and blogging to lunch to more swimming in the sea to tea time and usually in bed at about 8:30pm when the sun has gone down. It should be boring but its everything we need to recharge the batteries.

Gemma and Alistair from Manchester

A couple of days ago, our friends from the north, Gemma and Alistair came round to Shady Resort and joined us for a few non-alcoholic drinks. Gemma is pregnant so we were never going to have a blast of a night out. Seeing them again was really good and hearing some things from back home. Although as I've only been gone for less than 2 months I'm not expecting much to have changed, and not much had. Then again that feels strange as whenever I'd go on holiday for a week from work it seemed when I returned someone had left, got a new partner, split up, got promoted. Anyway seeing someone from the old life is pretty great.

Also I've met a couple of dogs here at the resort and one looks like the dog I want (english sheepdog /labradoodle type thing) when I get to the states, whom I will call Shindig. This one plays with me and yesterday I walked up to the shops and the ATM and he followed me there and back. Then came back to the bungalow with me. I had no food, but offered him some water but he turned that down and buggered off. I thought he was dissappointed in me, until later in the evening the weather was mild and I had a great moment where I was sat on the beach and reading while the gentle waves just turned over. Then Shindig comes a-running over splashing sand on me, and bringing his mate also. Shindig and his mate seemed to be owned by the resort we are staying and they seem best buddies. The other one has a tight sandy coat and seems to be the fighter amongst the pair of them. A couple of days ago they were playing on the beach with a smaller dog and just like kids the playing got out of hand. I think the fighter wounded the small dog who was yelping frantically. Fighter just walked away, but Shindig hung around to see if the small dog was ok, and waited until someone came to look at him. The small dog was ok. All this is making me very broody for dogs, and my life will be complete when I have my own Shindig with his messy hair smelling of sweat. Annoying Sarah who will be chasing him out the house with a gun.

Fighter and Shindig

Incidentally my reading material just now is Memoirs of a Geisha, which I cannot believe I haven't read before. I love the story and the descriptive nature of Japanese wording. Even though the author is from Chattanooga, TN. Never does our young heroine describe pain or joy without the use of fish, the sea or wind. Very engaging and paints the characters as if you know exactly what late 19th century Japan was like.

We did some brief calculations and Europe was wildly over budget and we probably have another 5 or 6 months travel in us or we will be using reserves. We had a conversation in the sea yesterday to list the things we absolutely cannot go home without seeing and India was firmly on the agenda. Also we have been looking online at a website called Help X and there are volunteer opportunities in Nepal which look amazing. Work in conservation, orphanages, teaching English. As well as an amazing opportunity it would give us free accommodation and the food would be about $5 a day, so we could really stretch this travel out if we did that. Also while I'm totally enjoying this island, the feeling on return that I did something worthwhile and not just take advantage of sunshine and cheap beer and food would give me a sense of accomplishment.

Today is the 25th May, and in three days we are leaving for another island. At 6:30am we are off to Koh Phi Phi on the western coast of Thailand. Famous for nearby Koh Phi Phi Leh where they filmed The Beach. It was also badly effected by the 2004 Tsunami, which I'm sure it has recovered from. I wonder how different it looks from my last visit in 2002. I seem to remember the beaches not being as great there and it mostly being about harbours and rocky sand so I guess the beach here could be the last for a while. This is certainly the nicest beach I've enjoyed. After Koh Phi Phi we have to make our way back to Bangkok for 6th or 7th as we have an early flight to  catch to Hong Kong. Before that we badly need to get a China guidebook as we are going to be hopeless there. I think when we enter China, this is when it really starts and the countries start going up a notch in the exotic scale.

How am I feeling? Very relaxed. The moment I think "am I bored?" I think to myself, when I am working away in an office (now thats boring) either here or the states and I think back to this moment, I will want to know why I didn't squeeze every juice of relaxation from this orange. Therefore, the twinge of guilt that seems to come from westerners when they do nothing, is ignored and repressed for the useless emotion it is. Right now its 8:43am according to my watch. I'm typing this on the porch of our bungalow. I see a blue sea right in front of me and palm trees swaying in a gentle and welcome breeze to my left. My only consideration is whether to have a swim before breakfast or not. And life shouldnt be about bigger decisions than that.

Day 45 - Ko Samui

We arrived in Surat Thani, towards the middle of the Thai / Malay peninsular about 7:30am. The night train wasn't great. The heat was obviously there, but the sleep deprivation occured as the carriage lights remained on all  night and the driver changed gear like a learner driver everytime he pulled away from the station. Still the morning groggy ride through the southern Thai countryside was rewarding. Looking at the landscape where most the Vietnam films were shot during the 80s and 90s. The journey to pier took much longer than I remember 8 and 10 years ago. Nevermind we managed to ignore the hard sell of a ride the Mae Nam beach where we intended to stay. From experience, I remember hordes of guest houses sending reps to meet farang off the boat to sell a place to stay, but this time it didnt happen. Instead we got a cheap shared taxi the Mae Nam and found a great little bungalow off the beach for about £10 a night. We like it so much we have resigned to stay here for the next 10 days. Everyday the beach on our door step, just writing, reading abnd relaxing if it kills us. The sea is wonderful off this coast of Ko Samui. You don't have to walk far to be up to your neck in the bluest refreshing sea. Also Mae Nam is very secluded compared to busy Chaweung in the south east of the island, where our friends are staying on the 21st. I counted no more than 5 others sharing the immediate beach with us. The water is not freezing but refreshing enough that the heat is no longer a problem at all. Tired from lack of sleep since arriving in Thailand I crashed on the beach and was woken by my own snoring. I'm not sure what there will be to blog about as we are staying put and reserving funds as best we can. The next stop after this is undecided.  

Days 40 to 44 - Bangkok

This was my third visit to Bangkok, well actually more as in both my previous Asian ventures a lot of back and forthing was done to Bangkok. I think I know what to expect, but thats a false security as it has been 8 years since my last visit.

The main difference was a different airport.... oh here I go again journey from airport to hotel...not interesting.  In any case I think I'm reaching writers block on Bangkok, as the place has been so visited. I'm sure everyone who has bought a backpack from Millets has come out weary at Bangkok airport and made their way to Khao San Road as we did. The difference this time was we had no place booked (yes I'm going into the first nights accommodation). Sarah asked me if there was anything reserved and I said "no" and she gave me a semi-trusting semi-doubtful "ok". We spent two nights in The Chart Inn right on KSR before moving to Rambutri, just behind the Wat near KSR.

Khao San Road, Bangkok

KSR is like it always was, stalls selling fruit and diarrhea. The same blind man walking down the street singing with a cd player round his neck. Cheap beer and cocktails, all food imaginable. And to cap it off Farang (like us) wearing Singha vests and flip flops and all trying to look as travelly as possible, so different from society back home. Although they aren't back home so they look uniform. Someone wearing a smart pair of jeans and a clean shirt looks unique here. As always I make these smug comments then buy a '7 Eleven' and a 'Mr Strong' T-shirt to wear with my cloth slacks and sandals. That's me people, I mock and conform... it's distasteful.

The first day we were talked into a river cruise for an hour. It was a little expensive I thought, but it was good to see the Venicey side of Bangkok. Ladies approaching you in canoes to sell any old crap. Kids jumping in the river, which makes any westerner scream dysentry. Also interesting was the fish feeding and seeing loads of fish act like pidgeons round a peace of bread. Also we took a visit to the Reclining Buddha in Wat Pho and again my second visit but still amazing. I also took Sarah to the Wat near KSR, which was more laid back. I love Buddhism. I know to all who've heard me spout on against religion, this may be thrown back. However, I feel with Buddhism there is a take it or leave it acceptance to all who want to see. Not just take all or leave all, its take as much or little as you like. This presents problems for westerner looking to get involved. They tend to think in the moralistic, join a club attitude of Judeo-Christian religions. While interested the back of their mind "what are the rules?" "do I have to be veggie?" "what if I cant meditate" "how many times a day or week should I meditate". The answer of "its up to you" is perplexing, religion needs to have rules as all clubs do, right?. Its all about well being of the mind, not saying sorry and feeling guilty about transgressions. It was my visit to Asia in 2002 that made me come over to Buddhism, buy a Buddha statue, an Introduction to Buddhism from Waterstones and set about my life as a complete rejection of the remaining christianity in my life. Ten years on it faded. My statue now sits in my sisters kitchen and the book went out with all my books when I left the UK. However, seeing the monks and the Wats again, a little tinge is returning.

Yesterday we decided that there is more to Bangkok than wandering up and down KSR, looking at watches to talk ourselves into dinner and a Chang Beer. We decided to try Lumphini Park and Siam Square area. Taking a passenger boat down the river and a sky train to the Park we found a place to sit and read. While there we saw and snapped about 3 monitor lizards which looked scary like dog size Komodo Dragons. Unsure whether to approach I kept my distance. Sarah got closer. Finding a table to sit and read was chilling. I was reading and have now finished One Day by David Nicholls. Its been made into a film with Anne Hathaway now, but a great book which tells the story of a boy and girl who hook up a lot as friends and lovers but don't really make a steady relationship for the most part of the book. Also it tells the story of both their lives at each stage on the day of 15th July from 1988 when they both graduate from uni to 2007. I liked it as my birthday is 16th July so as often you can remember where you are on your birthday, I remembered where I was through most of the book and gave a few nostalgic grins. From the 90s acid house, Rachel haircuts, Labour coming back into power after 18 years, the London bombings of 2005 and the seige mentality some had at the time. It also helped that the characters are almost my age and the girl has the same stupid beliefs as mine to veer to the left in any discussion whether it makes sense or not. I could recommend it to you as a book, but it may not be as personal to you and you may be moaning at the pointless extended banter dialogue as Sarah is doing now she has started 'One Day'.

Today we have another night train to catch and that always means filling the day after nicely asking the guest house to look after our bags for us. This time we have been charged about 20p for the priviledge. Also after pressure from Sarah and to be honest realising I look like a an old hippy drama teacher who slipped his previous conviction with a six-former through the CRB check, I decided to cut my hair. Its ok looking and I should now accept that long hair looks absolutely stupid on me and people who tell me otherwise are not jealous of my free spirit but very well intentioned. Anyway tonight its the night train to the boat to Ko Samui. I'm really looking forward to the islands.

Haircut

Day 37 to 40 - Dubai

Dubai is an amazing place if you have money and we didn't really. It was just a stopover, a stopover I was wrongly assured that carried an offer of a transfer to hotel. Apparently this only meant Emirates Hotels. Nevermind, £16 taxi ride to the hotel wasn't bad. The hotel was nice and so nice we didn't leave it that much. We ventured out on the second day to see the Burj Al Arab, which we know to be the most gaudy hotel in the world. Caught a bus back and retired to the sanctuary of air conditioning. Walking through Dubai is walking through a desert. Its oppressive in the heat. A bottle of water will stay refreshingly cold for a matter of 32 seconds. Knowing the cost of things and realising that Asia was round the corner, I think the concensus was we should be unashamed to enjoy our last nice hotel for a while and watch films etc.

Obviously I didn't see much of the area but I think I can sum up Dubai as a city thats growing and growing but unsure what it's growing into. It's all about business I guess, and things for business people to do. To that end I think comparisons with Vegas stop at a luminated city built in the desert. Vegas, a place I have also to visit seems about fun at most levels, family, gambling, drinking and the rest outside the law. Dubai has an under current of strict Islam which means this westerner will never see it as a good destination, no matter how many ski slopes, water parks or dancing fountains they produce.

Days 36 and 37 - London

I'm not sure I want to write about London as it was not a great time and a low for us both, but honesty prevails and it is a major city on our travels so it deserves a post. We arrived into Luton airport and catching the overpriced train in on a wet day reminded me why we left. The train, the tube and stepping out at Queensway near Hyde Park the hotel booked was much better than expected for a Bayswater establishment. For those not in the know for London, Bayswater can seem a good place on the map, being next to the park and near to Buck Palace, but the streets are lined with the shitty hotels. If you've seen Lampoons, European Vacation, the London hotel run by Mel Smiths character is a typical Bayswater place. Anyway we walked the streets to find something to eat and found a Thai restaurant that looked cheap, well cheap for London. Going into the argument that happened would mean me just putting my version of events across and therefore it would naturally be one of two things, overly generous to myself, or overly self depreciating in a way to compensate the balance.  In reality Sarah was feeling ill and tired, and I just tired. Illness when you are with someone 24 hours a day is hard to deal with. Empathy is hard to do constantly without sounding cliche or handing out advice which is both unqualified and unneeded. It also drags the mood for both down. However, illness is illness and its not wanted or enjoyed by the person very  much either. The argument over the meal came back to the hotel and Sarah was looking for flights back to the states, and we were temporarily doing the math on how to divvy up the money, as I was not about to stop travelling. As always things said which were pointless and unnecessary and the whole thing spiralled a little out of control. The thought of the morning alarm at 4am was not good as sleep needed to be attained before that point.  The claustrophobia of the hotel didn't help, however somehow we pulled it back and managed to sleep to awaken early. Sarah's decision to continue travelling was good news.

The morning following was so hard for Sarah her stomach cramps were still crippling her. We walked through the rain the relatively short distance to Paddington Station to grab the Heathrow Express. Somehow arrival at Heathrow and checking in our bags without a queue the mood improved. For some reason I love airports for all the reasons that Hugh Grant narrates about on the film Love Actually. However, not liking cliche I will say just sitting a looking around at people off to do something exciting. Reading the departures board and seeing places like Dallas, Ontario, Delhi, Auckland and all these people are twitching waiting for their gate to come up to get to these places. I always loved that.

I will tell you what else I love, flying Emirates. I'm so glad I made the executive decision to pay a little extra for Emirates. The leg room, the attentive cabin crew, the entertainment, the flight was over too soon and after Easyjet the luxury was even more obvious.

The Turkish Hamam

Believe me some things need a post all by themselves and a Turkish Hamam is one such thing. Fueled by a desire to feel clean and experience all things authentic I took my new German friend Klaus up on his offer to join him at a traditional Hamam. Now he wasn't taking me to a touristy one. This was a real one where Turkish men go also. I was scared.

We took a taxi through a part of Istanbul which had less kebab shops and t-shirt sales and more Turks. The traffic moved slow and loudly before we arrived at a place that was almost hidden between sweet  and electrical shops. I was greeted by the manager and the man who was to torture me in a very homo-erotic way. The manager greeted me with a handshake, Hussein my cleaner with a handshake and a kiss on both cheeks. So far so Turkish. After some tea I was given a cabin, with a lock that was mine. I was assure my personal effects were safe within and I undressed and wore only the cloth they provided. Some more tea then into the main area clutching some water. The main area was out of every Roman movie containing a bath house. A tall dome of a building with holes to let in the daylight. In the middle a slab with men lying about. First call the sauna. I've been in hotter saunas, but the heat was different. Advised by Klaus that the heat is retained be clay type bricks as opposed to the Scandinavian wood, I became aware I was now in a giant tangine pot. The heat seemed constant and it pushed dirt I never knew existed through my sweat glands. Then to cool down. A room to the left of the main area has sinks with bowls and you take the water and throw it over yourself. This part of the inner area is the only area which allows you to remove your clothes. If you are shy, being naked and throwing water over yourself is an experience. After that just ly down on the central slab and relax looking at the holes to the sky. Then one more sauna blast followed by another clean and the main course of brutality is served.

Your cleaner signals you to sit, then using the prison method for sobering up drunks, he grabs a big sink size bowl of water and throws it over the top of you. He repeats this process several times. Then signalling you to sit he takes a sandpaper glove, pours hot water it and rubs it over all your body and your face, literally scraping all the dead skin and crud away. Then with some bar soap, starting with your hair he works up so much lather. In fact the last time I saw this much lather was when some teenage twats put washing up liquid in a fountain in Manchester. Then another bucket of water and onto the central slab for a soapy massage.
I'm a good husband so I give Sarah massages, but if I did this to her it would be spousal abuse. He grabs and twists your legs, throttles you, pulls elbows in until you hear your back snap. All the time pushed down on this stone but warm slab. Assuming you can walk you are beckoned back to your starting position and another bucket of water is thrown over you. Thats it done as far as the cleaning is concerned. You are then given three fresh towels for both halfs of your body and your head then sent to your cozy cabin and offered to lay down and relax. You may even go to sleep if you wish. I guess you are just drying off, but not in the hurried sense which we do after a shower, more in a laid back and let it dry in its own time kind of way.

Your own personal space in this cabin and feeling that whatever shit is happening outside is of no concern at this moment. And it was at this point I completely got the idea of the haman (even though I saw the attraction during a trip to Morocco last year). Its designed for me. The central slab has a no talk rule, while talking in the sauna and other rooms is ok. This is men all over, we like to compartmentalise our times and places for talk and silence. In every day life, deep conversations with our partners can be adequately done in the 3 minure ad breaks. It was about breaking down barriers and moving homo-eroticism to one side (even though that is what it seemed) and enjoying being a naked man amongst our like with nothing implied. The benefits when you leave are the cleanest you will feel in a long time, and never again unless you take another haman. When you relax afterwards it will probably be the largest glow you'll ever feel. I feel women have many more opportunities to get this sensation which makes the haman unique as a particularly male form of expression. Meanwhile I cannot stop sniffing my arms and liking it.

Days 31 to 35 - Istanbul

Friday 4th to Tuesday 8th May

Fishermen on Bridge over the Golden Horn

After a wonderful sleep curled up against our rucksacks with a cool breeze entering the open air hostel room we awakened about 10:30am with the obvious idea to look around Istanbul. I remember entering the city at 6 that morning at dusk and seeing everything blue from the Bosphoros to the old walled city. The weather as we started exploring after 10am was not really hot at all. In fact it was perfect for walking around. Ofcourse we had lunch then made our way to the water via this park near Sultanahmet. A bridge spanning the Golden Horn looked worth a closer look. The bottom of the bridge was dotted with mostly fish restaurants and the top of the bridge with gentlemen fishing. Ofcourse, as with many touristy places, making your way through cafe districts is a slow process. Many want you to at least look at the menu, at least have a drink. This can be tricky as you need to know what you want as you aren't really aware whats good at this stage. While you read the menu, you aren't left alone and walking away always feels rude but often necessary unless you have the money and stomach to eat in every cafe. Still I will say (and I don't care I'm making a comparison); if I was to chose between the customer indifference of Eastern Europe (particularly Ms Prague) give me the hassle of Istanbul cafe sellers any day.

Bridge over to Asia

We were also pressured to take a Bosphoros boat ride. Our first sell was Tl 25 each for 1.5 hours. However, on return we found the same for Tl 10. Whether this was the best deal we are unsure, but it was more than half of the first one. The boat ride was intriguing. Particularly approaching the bridge which spans Europe and Asia. This is interesting as many in Istanbul describe the geography or their city as being on the European or the Asia side, as Londoners say North or South of The Thames or New Yorkers East side, West side of Central Park. Its a great landmark to photograph this bridge, although defining Europe is pretty hard. Political Europe doesn't include Turkey. Cultural Europe maybe includes half of Istanbul, as it maybe includes Moscow. Then again if you make Istanbul culturally divide between Europe and Asia at this bridge, then what about the Genoese section on the Asian side? Its a hard thing to work out, but people being people and particularly Chris being Chris we like to see a dividing line between the one and the other. Also as our journey was to be a journey to the edge of Europe this was a symbolic bridge for us I guess.

I'm not going to be as anal on days with this post as we're to spend 5 nights in Istanbul and in that time there were a lot of restaurants and kebabs and drinks and general wandering so I'll do the highlights.

The Blue Mosque was the second mosque I'd been to in my life and I was thoroughly blown away by the size and I guess the ambience and maybe the respect that is required for the place. A very peaceful place which to me reflects what a peaceful religion Islam is, despite what the Daily Mail and Fox News tells us.

The sea, don't hold me back.

On Sunday 6th May we took a short train ride out to a marina / beach town called Yesilkoy. Only Tl 2 each for the tickets out was a steal. The water was too inviting and the fact I had not brought my togs was not to be a barrier. Noticing I was not the only one, Chris stripped to his underwear and to the ocean. Ofcourse after I'd finished my damp pants seeped through and made me look that I'd wet myself (or I'd swam in the sea in my pants).

Yesterday (Monday 7th May) we took a 2 hour boat journey to The Princes Islands. We met up with an American called Richard who joined forces for the day. We negotiated Tl 10 each for a bike for the day. Richards chain broke early into the journey and his second bike was inferior to the Trek they gave him earlier. Still riding a bike was good exercise and fun even is a bit of pushing up the hill took place. The views stunning, and wizzing down hills is always cooling.

Later the hostel had a barbeque which we were invited to. We put the tables out on the streets and behind us everything was grilling and smelling good. A good chance to meet everyone, and have a chat, tell a few bad jokes. This continued into the evening as we found a cafe round the corner and shared a sheesha pipe. The flavour of choice was apple to mix with the apple and with a few drinks this was a good end to the evening.

Today Sarah has caught some tummy bug, and this means I am on my own today. We visited the Cisterns by Sultanahmet. Not only were the old Bysantine / Roman relics a jaw dropping jump into history, but they were very cool which I think Sarah appreciated. The large columns and fish swimming in the pools are really worth checking out, even if you aren't interested in history. I must admit I didn't read much of the information signs or get an audioguide. Sometimes knowing all the details isn't necessary or wanted.

Tomorrow we fly back to London in the afternoon. We have arranged a shuttle to the airport. We are spending little time in London then off to Dubai for 3 days. I think the hotel will be welcomed by Sarah, although there is a night in Heathrow airport before that (although Sarah will fold and need a hotel, I'll wager). Then to Bangkok and another smashing of the senses. The easy part is almost over.

Day 31 - Into Istanbul

We were awoken by Bulgrian police as we exited the country and went through passport formalities. Closely followed by train guard who told us; "in 20 minutes we at Turkey boarder, after that coach to Istanbul, I need sheets back". So that was that. To tired to be bothered to tackle him about something that he probably has no power over (apart from to tell us earlier) we sleepily obeyed. We knew that Turkey needs visas and we were able to attain these at the border easily for $20 each. The coach was comfy and with my hoody pulled up I managed two bursts of sleep. On the second burst we were awakened by the train guard (who now I guess is a bus conductor) who said "Istanbul, five minutes". So there we soon were at the station.

Arrival in Istanbul

We had no LIRA on us so approached a cashpoint but wondered what to get. When Sarah visited it was tens of thousands to the dollar, I'm glad I asked for a second opinion from another traveller as the LIRA seems somewhat more stable at TL 2.85 to £1. I'm glad we didn't pull out our entire savings in error.

Arriving while it was dusk and still few on the street was an experience and also knowledge that we would be here 5 days sent me into relaxation mode. We reserved beds of a roof in a hostel, and while a little different than we imagined the breeze coming through made me curl up on my bunk and fall into the deepest of sleeps which would compensate for 2 nights of night trains. Sarah did the same and I think I noticed out the corner of my eye a housemaid pull a blanket over her as she also drifted off.

Day 30 - Bucharest to Sofia

The result of this night train leads me to think if ever I take a night train again I will take a bed over winging it on a seat. The train reservation gave as a carriage number and seat number each, although on boarding none of this meant anything as there was no such carriage and therefore no such seats. We were moved into first class, but had no time to get excited about this when we saw first class. Perhaps the only difference between first and second class was  coat hooks. If foot room was a consideration, then it was unnoticable. We tried our best to get comfy spread over 2 seats. I reconcile this to myself by thinking how lucky you feel on a flight when you have 2 seats to spread out and the journey time is the same. Still a flight has a major difference; ticket and passport inspections. I managed to get reasonably comfy by breaking open my sleeping bag and spreading over the floor. With the hood up it lessened but didn't sound proof me from sleeping directly above the wheel. I would be comfy for about an hour then the hard floor would make my leg numb, so I'd turn and it was a system that worked. The manner I was wakened for tickets and passports (my feet being kicked) seemed worthy of prison life. Added to that the issue concerning Sarah's passport caused a panic. The police just took it and walked off. You know in the back of your mind that it will all be ok, but the time he took to return caused concern. Even more concern when we heard the train engine start up. Being seperated from your passport is something I avoid like the plague. The train started moving and we started yelling and like a practical joke the policeman came back with the passport stamp. We had now left Romania. Another easier stop at the Bulgarian border and we both got what sleep we could until I woke in Bulgaria.

The new train guard was a pervert to be frank. A row down a couple were also sleeping on the floor. When she handed the ticket on demand he checked it. However, maybe in the wrestling to get back into her sleeping bag she exposed some flesh accidentally, the tall thin guard with pressing eyes glared unashameably while literally wringing his hands. It was too obvious to be mistaken. On top of that he did the same to Sarah as she bent forward to tie her boots. The guard would then walk back and forward giving our small unused carriage a disproportionate amount of his attention, and fixing a scary glare on the females. I feared I may have had to prevent a raping if duty called.

My first look at Bulgaria and Bulgarians came at a station stop. Since Czech the countries had goy steadily poorer and Bulgaria looked the poorest. I believe it is the second poorest in Europe after Moldova. I want to hide from describing the people as men wearing shell suits and ladies with bad perms and pink jeans, but that is the best description. The journey into Sofia through a mountain pass was again truly amazing. Little houses dotted on the hills etc. The train scraped by a sheer cliff face with a river in between which we largely followed until we reached Sofia the capital'.

Sofia, Bulgaria

(heh I've just had a kitten come and join me where I am typing this in Istanbul, cats don't like me I thought but this has lent against me and starting purring - oh no Sarah has won her over her side now)

Sofia train station was again a bit soviet inspired monstrosity. I've used Soviet a lot (maybe as that best describes East Europe) so let me elaborate. Big faux marble walls, logos made from galvanised metal, wood panelling when decoration is needed. I'll first problem in Bulgaria is the lettering is cyrilic like Russian, which is more complicated than just the 'K's and 'R's being the wrong way round. As with all ex communist work delegation each person to each task. Information from one booth, local ticket from another, international from another, international information another, and any attempt at customer service in one person providing a service for all would be at the expense of another persons job. Now lefty Chris is all for job creation, but lefty Chris still needed a reservation for the 19:15 to Istanbul, which after some back-and-forthing we secured for LEVA 40 (or about £16). And this time it was a sleeping cabin.

I don't have much to say on Sofia of interest. Its a city that could be better with a bit of dusting and polishing. I didn't read up on it much, and we were only killing time there. One thing that maybe jumps out a bit, is the Mosques seem to have more prominence than previously, maybe underlining that we are now well within the old Ottoman Empire.

We brought some food and drinks for the 12 hour train ride to Istanbul and made our way to find our train. The lettering almost claimed us as a victim when I misunderstood 1H for 1 hour delay when it was actually platform 1H with the train waiting there for us. Several trips to booths and a travel agent and we were on board and settled into our sleeper cabin. We sat back opened our drinks and snacks and had a hug. We made the last train to Istanbul, we did it. It seemed a bit emotional. From the beauty of Paris to the functionional campsites of Southern France. From the grubby passion and tradition of Italy to the alps of Bavaria. From progressive Berlin where capitalism won hands down to the Eastern Countries where capitalism is still a work in progress. Hills, fields, coasts, snow capped mountains. Lanuguages we understood sentences to languages we couldn't even read. Poverty of cripples begging in streets to the unsubtle unashamed wealth of Monte Carlo and Cannes. Europe ended when Chris will at last get a stamp in his new passport. I'm not sure if the journey was the emotive thing either. Suddenly all those silly rows as we worked how to get from station to bed, working out a transport system and strange roads with 10 minutes of arriving, seemed to raise a quiet chuckle. If the journey is part of it, then so are the tough parts that make the journey memorable. With this contented little achievement under our belt, I curled up on the bed in the train, finished my cheap Bulgarian beer and vanilla biscuits and dozed off to sleep.

Day 29 - Ceaucescu

The Peoples Palace, Bucharest.

Today our main plan of action was the peoples palace in Bucharest which is supposed to be the second largest building in the world after The Pentagon in DC. Bucharest is really all about the Ceaucescus, the last communist leader, and here is what I found out about him. From around 1965 he was the unlikely successor as President of Romania. As a young communist he had done the prison rounds and suffered for his ideology so was adequately qualified. At first he looked like a hero in Romania being the only nation to stand up to the USSR, particularly in the invasion of Czechosklovakia where he wanted no part of the Warsaw Pact. Although looking heroic, the Soviets actually monitored him and tolerated him. When leaders believe their own press (even if they are the authors) they can be unstoppable. The Peoples Palace is an example of the blindness of the man to the nations woes. It was built between 1985 and 1989 and the size of the building to be more less completed in that time is awe inspiring. To his credit on this you could say the peoples palace was a good public works. It only used Romanian materials and labour. On the other hand nothing was getting in the way of the vision, and peoples homes and churches which were in the way were ruthlessly moved. The avenue leading up to the palace was purposely made a few inches longer than the Champs Elysee in Paris. His folly came when he visited North Korea and became interested in Juche, which I understand to mean the State is also the religion. When he borrowed $13billion off the USA (not fully understanding it to be a loan) he sought to repay this fast by ensuring everything the country produced was exported to pay back the debt (take note Conservative government with it's strong debt clearance policy). People worked hard for food that wasn't for them. A few other freedom restrictions such as prohibition of abortion and most divorces alienated the people further. A student riot which was violently suppressed, caused riots in Bucharest. Ceaucescu completely misunderstood his opinion polls and decided to talk to the people. His face as he first heard the boos and hisses has become one of the defining moments of the fall of communism, followed by his exit by helicopter. Known for suspected enemies "disappearing", when the Defence MInister commited suicide (which he actually did) the army suspected foul play and came over on the side of what was to be the revolution. To this end most Bucharestians hate the huge peoples palace for what it symbolises. For me it is similar to the Palace of Versaille near Paris. The trouble caused by one building. Now it is the largest parliamentary building in the world. All senators and deputies have their own offices within the building. Every ministry is held within it. With all the use, it is still largely unused.

Getting away from the 1989 revolution, Bucharest is my kind of city. Ugly and charming. Grubby and civilised. The old town with the bars and cafes are wide and filled with outside chairs, yet still inviting and vibrant. As alway price is important and while the best places in the old town can be only slightly cheaper than Britain. If you are little less picky and chose a bar / cafe nearer a junction the price shoots down. In my book it would definitely join the mega cities of Europe. Berlin, Paris, London are others I put in that bracket. In truth wandering north and near the main station and other streets near there and you feel a little more muggable. So normal common sense applies there.

From Bucharest we took the night train to Sofia, Bulgaria. I'm glad this was the last non bed sleeper we took.

Day 28 - Bran to Bucharest

A very short entry for day 28 as not much of a day for me, mainly as it was started at a pointless castle. Yes it was quaint, yes it had a good back-drop and yes it was supposed to be Draculas castle. The castle in Bran was pretty much a tollgate for goods in and out of the Romanian province. Vlad the Impaler stayed one day in the palace, dracula never existed this we know, and Bram Stoker the author of Dracula never in his life visited Eastern Europe let alone this castle. His story is based on getting a library book out on Moldovan history, so the connection to this castle and dracula is the thinnest of thinny things. We eventually caught the bus to Brasov then the train to Bucharest. On finding our hostel we had a hike round the city, got slightly lost, got ripped off by a taxi, found an Irish Bar, I found guinness and Sarah Margherita, yes an ok evening in hot Bucharest.

Day 27 - Brasov and Bran, Romania

We crossed the Hungarian / Romanian border at 2am. We knew as we had a loud knock on our cabin followed by a shout "Passports". I pulled on my shirt and unlocked the door, and the policeman switched on the light. He looked at mine briefly and looked at me (when the picture was taken on my passport my hair was shorter and I wasn't woken at 2am on a train). Anyway being an EU, he handed it back quickly, although Sarah being American (woop woop) got the digital readout and stamp treatment. This was apparently the exit ceremony, a similar thing was done 10 minutes later by a Romanian officer. As abrupt as this was I had no trouble getting back to sleep and slept soundly only to wake to the vast Romanian countryside sweeping past the window.

What do I know about Romania? Ceaucescu executed in 1989 on Christmas Day spelled their end of communism. Oh and that condescending but (I admit) hilarious laugh at Kazaks in the film Borat, well the scenes of the Kazak village were actually filmed in Romania, poor gullible people. Looking out the window I saw very few big roads. I saw plenty of farming and for the first time I saw more horses being used. You get the idea that the most technology had hit the Romanian farmers I saw out the window, was adding pneumatic tires to their horse carts. This I'm sure is untrue. When they finish with their horses they go home and play on facebook and they pay eachother for hay or turnips by bank transfers over their macbooks. Still it graciously put a great picture for me as a gullible observer.

Over looking Brasov, Romania

Brasov looks like a touristy city, although it seems they are only East European tourists, and I think I can say the same for Bran which I will come to in a moment. It took a while to find our barings on exiting the station. No one was that helpful, even though many spoke English. We caught a bus (for free - bad) into the old town square and then hiked up to the old citadel. The more hiking taking a cable car up to the top of a hill overlooking the city. Brasov has letters of the city on a hill exactly like Hollywood does, and the cable car took us up to those. Then a long hike down with views all the way.

Caravan for the night

Bran, where we are now, is supposedly Draculas home town, or at least the castle here was Bram Stokers influence in writing the novel. That said I see very little reference to it bar the campsite we are staying "Vampire Campsite". Again quite busy and plenty of hotels, but all domestic tourism I think. Although in a campsite, you may notice the tent got dumped back in Prague, so we are actually staying in a caravan, which feels very cosy. All for 54 Lei or £10. Very reasonable. This is also something that Romania is good for, its cheap. Some sample prices. Beer is 92p in a restaurant. Sandwich and drink for both of us came to £5 in Bran a moment ago. With the weather and landscape backdrop I think this is something that Sarah and I discovered and should lay our flag.

Tomorrow we are properly looking at the castle (oh joy), then onto Bucharest.

A quick heads-up on how I'm feeling. I'm sleeping well. My health feels ok, apart from a nasty little coldsore which is probably due to lacking nutrients. I have to sort that out. On Europe. I've loved it but to be honest I'm looking forward to Asia and seeing the last of cobblestones and castles. Something that makes me feel good is (although it was always a no-brainer) I received a letter at my sisters from US Homeland Security, Sarah's petition for me to come to the USA has been approved, and the first stage of the immigration process is passed. The hard part of Affidavits of Support, gathering documents and awaiting the cold interview at the Embassy in London is further down the line, but for now I'll be happy at that mini good news. GOD BLESS AMERICA!!

Day 26 - Budapest

I promised not to go on about rooms so I'll just let slip that we left a soviet type apartment which was functional but far from cosy around 11am. Actually I want to say that I had a lovely sleep in that apartment and I will say no more negative about it. This is not the first time I visited Budapest. In 2005 I was talked into going on stag do with several people I barely knew. It was all about strippers, drinking, kebabs, drinking, waking up hungover, drinking, shooting guns (I didn't), drinking. Suffice to say I barely remember the place, although I did remember having a great time swimming on the Sunday late morning and I wanted to do that again. We found a pool near the main river which was an interesting experience. I think swimming and spas may be really important to Budapestans (Budapeshians, Budapestonians?). Especially as they approach their later years. For once I was not concerned about my body as I usually am when stripping to the waist. The thermals and saunas were good even if the showers smell like a bad egg sandwich.  What I really loved was the steam room, which quite frankly makes the steam room at my old gym more reminiscent of an old persons house with the heating turned up. This steam room should have had safety warnings. I can't read Hungarian so maybe it did. I felt myself redden and watched Sarah redden. Getting outside you had to stand up and heat rises (remember from year one science) so the real steam hits you when you stand to make for the door. The cold shower outside which a few minutes ago would have brought on a cardiac arrest feels natural as you sizzle the steam away. Then, go back in and with the cold shower feel yourself warm up. Breathing hard through your nose you felt it burn but do a lot of good. Essentially all I've done is describe a steam room experience, but it was my favourite bit of the day.

Castle with Budapest Parliament in background

After the swimming adventure we took a walk up to the castle on the hill on the Buda part of the city (I'm sure you know that Budapest is two cities either side of the Danube called Buda and Pest). The castle is semi fairy tale, but unlike Neuschwanstein had a point to it. I felt the architecture gave the traveller the idea that he was leaving christendom and moving toward the kasbars of the Ottomans, which is roughly our quest. The views across the Danube to the Hungarian parliament spectacular. Even so swimming makes me sleepy or 'soporific' as per my favourite Beatrix Potter word. We crashed out on the grass with our swimming costumes drying on a fence in the sun. Waking as the sun started towards dusk and the temperature dropped a few celcius.  After this we were largely killing time as we needed to be on the 10:30pm train to Brasov, and this time we had a proper sleeping cabin. Yes we ensure we were on the sleeper this time after the broken night from Venice to Munich. Once showed to our cabin, although it had room to sleep 6, we were told it was all to ourselves. We were given sheets and made our beds. Had some snacks and Bacardi Breezers and settled in for the night as the train sped east.

Rather comfy sleeper.